  It has been a crazy season for illness! Everyone I talk to has had multiple and lingering illnesses. It is so frustrating and hard to promote healing and wellness when in fact I am not well. On a good day my self-talk sounds a little like this: Well, I’m human and I have not been very healing in my lifestyle lately. I just need to change some things and keep picturing myself well and my immune system as strong. But on a bad or weak day it goes something like this” Sick again! What is my problem?! Why is this happening to me right now – everything is moving along so well in other areas of my life…why, why, why! It is really easy to go into fear mode or self-pity when we don’t feel good. Which starts the downward spiral. Also I observed my ego kicking in, feeling my own judgement towards myself and imagined from others. Which is all surface based, fear and spirit destruction. I teach the opposite and I usually can stay in a higher realm of thought, but these back to back illnesses have me beaten down. There must be a lesson here for me. As I began to meditate on this question for a couple of days, I got my answer. As always I have to be challenged and go through things so that I can teach others how to go through it while remaining in a higher vibration. I just let go of keeping myself mentally in a high vibration. It is all too easy to punish ourselves. Our minds are programmed this way. The lingering or reoccurring imbalances, I believe were my inability to stave off this resistance. This resistance to love and acceptance that would allow my system to stay in strong vibration. Everything in the universe is a frequency/vibration. Our thoughts and feelings carry resonance which attract like things (vibration/frequency) into our world. Staying strong mentally when I don’t feel good takes a tremendous amount of focus. I have to read/listen to things that resonate with complete health. The minute I allow resistance to come in all of that good vibration stops dead in its tracks. My resistance in the case of my latest infection that has lingered is fear based. If we listen our body’s are talking to us in more profound and powerful ways than imaginable - if we take the time to listen. I think that is where I failed myself. I was getting so busy not leaving a moment to spare for myself. When I had to stop because my body stopped me, I had no other choice but to listen. But my resistance kept up the fight. I took me some time but I had a couple of things going on: 1) Fear of public speaking – of showing my face, of facing this fear. Hence the skin infection on my face which started a week before I began a public speaking course! 2) Going into a state of self-pity why me.. why this again… When this track gets mentally established it will keep going until I throw a wrench in it by looking at what is really going on beneath the surFACE. Taking copious antibiotics is finally helping too. I hate taking them but when you need to they can help get back into alignment with wellness. I am for cooperative care not alternative. It is because of the way I was raised one day I believe that I will be so good at keeping my vibration strong that I won’t ever get sick. Until then I keep at it just like everyone else yet looking deeper into the underlying mental/emotional layers that most miss is where the real balance lies. As we do start to recognize that how we think about our illness and our wellness, we begin to establish a more powerful relationship to the resonance that we are creating and can learn to wield it in our favor. The most important lesson for me here is taking the time no matter what to connect, to listen to give myself time to re-balance. This is how we love ourselves. And when we are in the highest vibration of Love – fear cannot exist! I've decided to begin a meditation class to help us all stay in higher vibration! Send me an email if you are interested in attending this and future clases! 
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